SELFISHNESS

Have you ever felt like you are surrounded by people who are selfish? I bet you are and that makes me too.

I am currently living in a university residence and my family here is my friends. We are always together and we do things together. We are so close and we love each other very much. We are like sisters. SWEET HA??
The problem with me is that five out of seven are so selfish sometimes it makes me sick. It is not like I am bad-mouthing them or regarding myself and the other two as perfect. NO ONE IS PERFECT; the thing is I am just stating the facts because I and reality are one and the same thing. I might be not perfect but I am not so selfish and cruel like them, and they also know that. Let me explain to you how these five important people in my life are (forgive me but I am not going to say their names-talking about respect!).

NUMBER ONE. This one every one of us is aware of her selfishness, and she is often regarded as ‘an enemy and a friend’.

• She spies on everyone of us in order to know our secrets or about our private lives so as to spread it around the campus to all the gossip mongers.
• She is from a rich family so she is so full of herself, have pride and look at us as if we are ants just because we are not coconuts like her.
• Instead of helping you she rather laughs at you, and if she does help you, she still laughs behind your back.
• Always showing off her expensive stuff, just because you don’t have it.
  
  
  NUMBER TWO. This one was my all-time favourite until she disappointed me. We were always close and shared everything together. I still don’t know what changed her.
• She borrows everything from me but if I do the same to her she lies to me, saying that she does not have certain things I borrow.
• She is always in my room, we always spend everything I have together, but when she has things she does not come to my room and do not even want me in her room.
• She ignores me for weeks and even forgets that I exist, after that she blames me.
• She always judges people and give advices to them, but she does not want to be judged or to be offered some advice because she regards herself as knowing everything. LITTLE MISS PERFECT.
• She does not want to be disturbed when she is studying, she chases you away, but if it is you who is studying she disturbs you and don’t want to leave you alone in peace.
  
  She was not like this before. She just changed. People do change when you least expect them to.
  
  
  NUMBER THREE. This one is my favourite, but she makes me sick sometimes.
• When she is with the first one I told you about, she acts exactly like her. They are so full of themselves just because they are from rich families.
• She is so jealous it sucks; she won’t even compliment you sometimes.
  
  
  NUMBER FOUR AND FIVE. These two are exactly the same because they are always together.
• They are extremely jealous.
• They come to you and borrow your things, but they don’t want people coming to them and borrowing their things.
• They break your things and return them just like they are without saying anything or even apologising.
• They always ask for favours, but they don’t expect others to do so.
  
  
  THOSE ARE MY FRIENDS FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  As for the remaining two, they are my guardian angels. I don’t remember them being selfish or doing anything bad to me, or anyone for that matter-unless there are some misunderstandings since well some people are not good listeners. I always feel so safe and relaxed with them, I feel free to talk to them with everything. Believe me, they are worth it.
  
  No matter what my friends are doing to me, I love them equally, treat them equally, and I don’t want to live without them. I just forgive and forget, there is a saying that goes ‘do unto others as you will like them to do unto you’’. Of course I do not expect them to be perfect, I am not even perfect, but I just wished they could get over themselves.
  
  Guys out there, I know you might be experiencing the same. Don’t take it by heart, understand that we need people like these in our lives, because if it was not for them we would not know and understand ourselves. We would not even know the meaning of life; life could have been so meaningless to us. Each and every person in this world has both a positive and a negative side. We don’t only do positive things in our lives but we also do negative ones, and that is how we are made.
  
  I am glad I have friends in my life. I am also glad that I can talk to you guys out there because I am one person who does not know how to confront people when I have problems with them, instead I bury everything inside of me and it is not healthy. So the least I can do is to share such things with you so that they won’t eat me inside and become heavy for me.
  
  If you also have something you cannot share with people around you, you are more than welcomed to share it with me (after all that’s the whole reason I am studying Industrial Psychology). I am always here for you and you can e-mail me anytime or just say your comments. We need each other as people. We cannot live without each other even if we wanted to. So keep on spreading the spirit of ubuntu and becoming decent people. Let us do what is best for one another. From me Boitumelo, I say
  
  ‘VIVA PEOPLE FOR THE PEOPLE VIVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

THE NEGATIVITY OF LOVE!!

• LOVE is an extremely important aspect of our lives. Without it we may not achieve many things in life, that is why it is always said that ‘’WITHOUT LOVE, A MAN MAY NOT HAVE WEALTH AND SUCCESS IN HIS HOUSE’’ and ‘’GOD IS LOVE’’, because without GOD we may not be here.
  
  The following is the description of LOVE from the Holy Bible (1COR 13:4-8).
  
  LOVE never hurries, it is always kind.
  It is not jealous, and never boasts of its greatness.
  LOVE is not rude or selfish.
  It is always ready to forgive and forget mistakes we make.
  LOVE is no friend of wickedness, but delights in honesty and truth.
  LOVE is strong and never gives up.
  It never loses its trust in God or its hope for the future.
  LOVE will survive all things because it is everlasting!!
  
  
  Now I am sure you are wondering why I called this pierce of work ‘’the negativity of Love’’. The reason being is that of course, love is a good thing, but it has some negativity since well sometimes it can cause bad things to us or even make us do bad things. Let me make examples:
  
  You are in love. A girlfriend to a boyfriend (or vice versa). The bond between you becomes stronger to an extend that you feel so deeply fond of each other, very seriously. You may even be engaged, you love being together and you enjoy every minute of it. That is how love is, so OVERWHELMING that you will feel as if you are in another mysterious down-to-earth world!!
  Suddenly things changes. You find out that he/she is or has been cheating on you, or he/she dumps you for another person, or because you are carrying his baby. Now you are so hurt that you feel like you can vanish from this cruel world!!
  
  Another example may be that of married couples. He/she may as well cheat on you or even divorce you for another woman/man. He/she may treat you like dirt only to find out that he/she was not doing it before the marriage. You see him/her as a completely changed person, as if you don’t know him/her anymore. He/she may even tell you lots of lies and not tell you that he/she has another child with another woman/man until you find out for yourself! HOW DISGUSTING!!
  
  SEE WHAT I MEAN??
  
  Her you are. Heart broken, no healing, painful, having sleeping and eating disorders, loosing weight, depressed, and even worse, not being able to move on with your life ( because you still love him/her).
  Only to find that he/she is happy, does not worry about anything, and his/her life is so full of joy. He/she hurt you, treated you like a pierce of trash, called you names, told you all those horrible things, but after all that he/she is happy!!!
  
  You did everything for him/her, catered for him/her, loved him/her, cherished him/her, gave him/her everything he/she can ask for in a woman/man, but after all that your life is a living hell!!
  
  WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO UNFAIR??
  
  
  These hurtful things happening to us can make us do bad things. We can commit all sorts of crime-suicide, murder, rape, you name it. We won’t do all these things because we really wanted to, but because we found ourselves not being able to deal with the situation or to control the anger inside us, which drives us to do things we may regret in future.
  
  My dear Brothers and Sisters, I know you may be experiencing such horrible things, or even worse. I also know that you want your life back and to move on, you are trying but it is not easy. You also feel like you are the only person who is feeling so terrible in this world and you are blaming yourself.
• Know that life is not always fair. We really have to experience the negative affectivity in our lives because it is our source of information for survival- we won’t survive without negative emotions.
• Know that God is always there for you and He is love. You may not get enough love from people living with you, but you can always get it from the Almighty, that is why you should be grateful.
• Pray to God everyday and tell him your problems, then close your mouth and let him fight your battles for you because He always does. Trust in the Lord!
• Lastly, be honest in your relationships and respect your partners and everybody else.
  
  
  Okay enough with the hard feelings. I have a very interesting LOVE poem by Anonymous (just came across it in the net and forgot to check the author, sorry) to share with you guys.
  It goes like this……………………………………
  
  WHEN WE TOUCH
  
  When I see you
  I fall to the ground you walk upon
  And warship your feet
  For they were made for me
  And then you fall to the ground with me
  And you take my hands in yours
  My body lulls in ecstasy
  As you kiss my lips so softly
  You lips, oh how they feel
  How they taste against mine
  So warm, so tender
  And they kiss only mine
  And your body
  Your body feels only mine against it
  As it swims with love for me
  My heart beats so strongly
  It can feel yours beating
  Beating for mine
  Beating with mine
  
  You are the love of my life
  You are my one and only
  And when I feel you inside me
  I know that you were always inside me
  You never left my body
  You never left my heart
  You never left my soul
  And when we touch
  We become one even more
  And we drift together in love
  And I learn what I was made for
  
  I Love You
  Always
  
  
  Hope you enjoyed it and you can send it to your loved ones. Always remember that ‘It is not the relationship that makes you happy, but it is about you investing in the relationship’’.
  
  I wish you a good life and lots of love. Don’t forget to tell me what you are thinking by commenting. So from me Tumi….TAKE CARE !!!!!!!!!!
  

My life!!

Wats up guys, cool ha??

I am so glad to be given the opportunity to also raise my voice about issues facing us as people. I've always been someone who likes to express herself through writing, so i am actually going to do something i am in love with. I also know that the majority of issues facing me, are facing many people out there, so we really have to talk about them.

Since well this is my first time i am talking to you guys, i thought it would be best if i tell you briefly about myself. I grew up in the dusty streets of Tumahole Parys, down in Free State, and i was quiet. There was nothing much happening in my life when i was young except the fact that i was a bookworm and always regarded as the best performing learner at school. My life started to change when i turned 15 and in grade 10, when i lost my father. I started to see life differently and realised that there is nothing important like family and one cannot do without it. The thing was that i did not grow up with my father there, my mom and him were not married so my father married somebody else and was living in Welkom. He was away most of the time. To tell the honest truth , it was not so hard loosing him because i did not know him too well, my mom and granny were everything to me. Anyway i loved him and i will always do.
In grade 10 i was still the best performer and a debater, when i reached grade 11 i stopped debating and joined the Sarafina and Mango-groove dancing group, i also became the member of the editorial committee-writing articles about our school to be published in a local newspaper. During Matric i stopped everything and focused on my books, i wanted to do my best, and i actually did. My school days were over now and i had to move on to the next level. I missed Boitlamo Secondary School and the teachers so much, and i kept on using its motto- CONVICTION.

I wanted to go and study medicine at Wits but things did not go the way i expected. My second option was to go and study Bcom Industrial Psychology at North-West University (vaal campus), and i actually did-that's where i am now, doing my third year and actually enjoying every moment of it. Life begins at tertiary level so they say, and i agree. I got to know myself better and became emotionally stable. I met an interesting guy during my first year and we became serious during my second year, to an extend that i became pregnant with his child. Unfortunately we separated even before the baby was born, but i am happy i had his baby-Ditebogo Innocent Ohapilwe is the best thing that has ever happened to me!

i am now completing my degree and i am planning to do Honours and work part-time. Everything is cool with me now except the fact that i loved the father of my baby so much that i still do. I am still trying to make peace with the situation though and i hope i'll move on. I guess everything happens for a reason and God knows what's best for each one of us. LOVE COMES TO US ALL NOMATTER WHAT WE DO, AND IT IS GOING TO LEAVE US NOMATTER HOW HARD WE TRY TO HOLD ON TO IT. Anyway my life has been wonderful and i don't have any regrets. I have many reasons to be happy and to thank the above man. Let me name a few:

• I became a mother at the age 20 and have a healthy, normal, handsome baby boy(believe me young single mothers can still do it)
• I have an awesome family( my mom,granny,aunt,my siblings Mpho, Moleboheng, Tau, Refilwe, Nandipha,Simphiwe, my cousins)
• I have an awesome bunch of friends( Granny, Tshepiso, Dudu, Sihle, Bonny, Makola, Penny, Selloane etc)
• I have a very interesting academic life
• God made me a strong, intelligent, patient, and passionate young woman
• Best of all, i am alive and kicking ( life is too short and more and more people are dying everyday, that is why we people should be grateful when the Lord is still giving us the chance to breathe, enjoy it while it lasts!)
  
  Finally, My favourite lecturer(Dr Moolman) taught me three things to follow in order to succeed in life and i will like to share it with you guys.
  U-UNDERSTAND
  A-ACCEPT
  R-RESPECT
  
  We should understand things happening around us or to us, and why are they happening, in order to be able to accept and respect situations. If we don't understand, we won't accept and respect.
  
  I'm done for today guys and remember you are free to say your comments. Know that i cannot do without you,even if i wanted. So from me Boitumelo, till next time, I'M SIGNING OFF!!!